On how the darkest times gave me the greatest gifts. Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift. — Mary Oliver During one of the darkest moments of my life as I was hiding in…

I met my biological mother after forty-nine years of searching for myself — “I’d never forget,” my father said when I asked him what my mother looked like. He remembered the way the sun illuminated the gold in her brown hair, the depth of her gaze, and the way she crinkled her nose when she laughed. As I stood at his doorstep with…

I wonder if I chose only one moment to go back to, which one it would be? It might be the day Nana took me to the beach. — The summer before her ninety-seventh birthday, my grandmother, Nana, passed away in her sleep. She was living in an elderly care home, although I hesitate to use the word care. It wasn’t where she belonged, that’s for sure. The place had an odor of canned spaghetti microwaved in a plastic…

The summer before Nana’s 97th birthday, she lived in a home I dubbed The House of Death. My grandma had moved into this final home after she slipped on another area rug and fell. Those innocuous flopsy things she liked to decorate with were quite dangerous. She had a series…

1987. It was there hidden in the darkness I felt invisible. My grandmother’s car pulled up in the driveway. I yanked the window blinds and hid inside the closet. Buried within the fabric of dresses and blouses, I sank, curled into a fetal position among my shoes. My heart wound…

My DNA test revealed a family secret and solved an existential puzzle Everything I thought I knew about my life spiraled into a double helix. I stood for some time in the bathroom staring in the mirror, examining every detail of my arms, hands, and face. I attempted to see…

In June of 2018, I had my genetics tested using 23andMe by my doctor. It was an optional part of my physical, but I thought it was a good idea to get a thorough medical checkup. Being a single mother, I thought about my children’s well-being. In addition to not…